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Article :: 2005.07.07 - Wooden Spoon Report

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Wooden Spoon Day - Thursday 7 July 2005
New record set ... 13 points wins the spoon!

Well dear punters, this day will live long in the annals of history ... a brave and stoic Les O'Leary battled the elements, and the Piopio Aria golf course, alone it would seem, for a record breaking 13 points.  The previous record was 18 points to win the spoon, set at Centennial in Taupo by Lindsay Siegel.  The rumour mill was working wondrously well, fuelled by the hospitality of club rooms, for it seemed that Les had three 3 pointer holes on the way to setting this feat.  It makes for a long day at the office for the other 15 holes!

The course was in great nick considering the time of year, and although wet, muddy and covered in sheep shit, the greens were mint condition, albeit with some testing pin placements.  Noted critic of pin placements, Maurice Tricker came in with 38 points, so they cant have been too bad.  The 17th alone would have produced well over $80 of the $250 total paid in fines for 3 putting.

Putaruru took 39 golfers (??!!) to Piopio Aria, leaving just after 8 AM and not returning from Piopio until just on 6:00PM.  I think we got back just on 8:00PM to Putaruru.  The boys were pretty relaxed when they left the club rooms, their bar having done a fair old trade out of the lads.

Our resident +2 handicapper, Mike Karl had 24 points, David Hoyte should have been sweating his butt off on 22 points, but he had a cheeky sneak peek at the cards to relieve his anguish (bad little white boy!)

Tony Muller wondered what all the fuss was about in thrashing out a tidy 40 point haul for the day (over 3 times what poor Les had!!).  Tony won the day.

To add to Les's distress, good mate and golfing buddy Russell Burman was sitting on 18 points ready to take the spoon off Les, but delighted in seeing Les retain the thing so convincingly.

And, unlike the Lions coach, who can look at a 48 - 18 score line and not call it a thrashing, Les's effort really defies description.  What can you say, this record will stand long and proud??!!

Oh, and Captain Ding had 32 points.  That included sending 1 ball over the highway, and promptly losing the second one in the water hazard in front of the tee.  This seemed to delight playing partner Paul Graham who roared with laughter, along with Burns and Duncan Gallagher looking on from an adjoining tee (bastards!!)

The other shot worth noting was Lance Hay just about taking out the neighbour who was getting the daily paper or whatever.  We all yelled out "FORE FORE FORE!!" but he didn't seem to hear us.  Luckily he ducked just in time, but he seemed oblivious to the drama of the golf ball just missing his car by feet, and his head by a whisker!! ... it was that close!!

Ah well, another spoon day that Captain Ding has escaped without winning it.  This one will be thrashed out by all who attended, as the tales get longer, better and more dramatic by the handle!!

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