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Article :: 2005.12.13 - Wooden Spoon Report

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Wooden Spoon Report 13 December 2005
It was Black Tuesday (the 13th) that the Putaruru Wooden Spooner’s had their home round break up.  The competition was played on nett, as opposed to stableford which meant that every hole had to be played out.  Rumours were rife of tales of out of bounds and super high scores on various holes ... like the gentleman who had a 10 on the par 3 10th hole, two out of bounds and a 3 putt to boot; another tale of two out of bounds on the 1st hole for a starting 10 on the par 4, and a lesson in rules as yet another poor unfortunate was forced to count an air shot on the 1st tee, this after he had already hit his first shot over the woolshed!

Most speculation centred on how close Captain Ding would come to the wooden spoon but a nett 66 arrived early from Santa.

Now with the day being a Tuesday, the spooner's decided to further facilitate relations between men's and ladies golf by playing for the first ever Men’s putting button - on ladies day no less.  The lucky winner was Stew Kensington sinking a fantastic putt on 18 ... Nice one Stew!

Tony Muller took top honours with a nett 63, 2nd Butch Hamilton 65, Ron Taylor and Rhys Burnett and Captain Ding 66 and Ross Jellard and Wayne Mudford 67.

At the business end of winning the wooden spoon, David Hoyte was there on a nett 79, but quite relaxed with the knowledge that he had not won the spoon.  Tony Edgar on a nett 80, along with John Lamb and Eivin Lynghaug were quite twitchy, but Neville Dugan came through with 81 to claim the "honour" of baby sitting the spoon over the Christmas break.

More Wooden Spoon Spin
How good is this?  Last year Tony Muller won the spoon, this year he wins the day making sure he was out of contention.

Captain Ding had the privilege of playing with Grippa all day and watching him score a nett 70, notwithstanding 5 three putts and a two stroke penalty for hitting another golf ball on the 7th green while putting.  Grippa hit Worthies ball which was so far off his intended line that he fully deserved the two shot penalty. 

The highlight for Captain Ding was the subtle suggestion on the 2nd hole when Gripper had about a 15 foot putt to save par. Captain Ding played the psychological war games by suggesting that this was 3 putt territory and then Grippa rips his first putt about three and a half foot past the hole and then leaves his ball right on the edge …… it’s fair to say that Captain Ding was amused.

And it did make up for the guffaws of laughter that Grippa had at Captains Ding’s expense on the 3rd hole at Poipoi Aria where Ding hit one OB, one into a water hazard, and the 3rd just missing the afore said water hazard!   However, Gripper had the last laugh as Captain Ding took a 3 putt bogey on the final hole to end the day.  Bastard!! 

A couples of other sidelines comes with John Wood who on the 15th (the 15th has not been a happy hole for Captain Ding being hit by golf balls!) Anyway back to the tale, J R was nicely in the centre of the fairway with his drive , Captain Ding was wee bit further down but off under the trees, and sitting quite happily minding his own business, when he got a call to watch his back and turns around to see J R play his shot and scupper it along the ground and hit Captain Ding’s trundler.  Captain Ding, who was quietly relaxed sitting on his trundler seat scarpered, knowing the pain golf balls!

And I can’t leave this one alone as David Hoyte was seen running down the 5th fairway after having hit a ball out of bounds over the back of the green.  Two things stick in the mind, one is Hoytey’s misfortune at going out of bounds and the second is seeing him run!!!

Yes, it was Merv Samuel that had 2 out of bounds and a 3 putt on the 3 par 10th for his 1st hole, and I understand Tony Edgar took a 10 on the 1st hole with a couple of out of bounds as well.  And it was Burns that had the air shot on the 1st and tried to claim that it was a practice swing.  Apparently he missed the ball by about 12 inches.

The pressure of nett was very evident in the on course refreshment sales, where Heather Howard (God Bless her soul) noted with some concern that sales were very light as everyone was taking this nett golf very seriously.

On the other side of the coin, Captain Ding was very thirsty and quite happy to imbibe when he was confident of his position at the head of the field rather than the business end of the spoon.  He was heard to comment as playing the 9th (his last hole) that he could have taken a 12 on this par 5 and still come out with a nett 72.  The 3 putt bogey still bugs him for his 81 off the stick.

Tony Edgar came way to close to collecting the spoon in more ways than one.

Firstly, he picked up the spoon from Les O’Leary because Les wasn’t playing on Tuesday.  Secondly, with a nett 80, Tony was more than a little aware that he was in contention to win the blessed thing.

Worse still was having to face the guffaws of ribbing from Les and Elayne O’Leary if he had won the spoon.  Needless to say Tony was more than a little grateful to Neville Dugan winning the spoon.

As an aside, Neville was not that successful in trying to convince the gathered masses that he targeted these big tournament days with a view to trying to win the big prizes!

Rosco commented that he was more than a little disappointed with the 3 putt haul being only $164 and there were more than a handful that gloatingly pronounced that they had not had a solitary 3 putt for the day.

The final highlight was the danger of the group leaving change out of the $1,100 odd that was put on the bar; however the diehards made sure that there was no loose change left by the close of the day’s events.

Finally, a vote of thanks to Rosco for his continued enthusiasm in running the spoon days, the halcyon days where we use to get 20 to 25 are now well gone and now the norm is easily picking up 40 odd players to go hunting around the traps for venues to host the wooden spooners.  Rosco also noted that the call may be to visit the smaller Clubs like Putaruru who appreciate the shot in the arm of a big group coming to visit. The big Waikato Clubs dont appreciate us in the same way as the smaller clubs, simply because 40 players going out to squabble over who gets the wooden spoon has a major impact on smaller Clubs revenues on all fronts (green fees, bar and catering), plus it advertises the Putaruru Golf Club to these smaller Clubs with a view to getting more of their players knowledgeable that Putaruru does exist and does have a thriving golf club.

The final final comment, is a sound raspberry to the Waotu person (he knows who he is), who was more than a little disappointed that Captain Ding wasn’t in contention for the spoon!

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