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Article :: 2006.12.21 - This Week Press Report

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Putaruru Golf Club Report for Insertion in “This Week”
Thursday 21 December 2006.

Men's Report
The wooden spoon cooked up a storm of hilarity for the last time this year.  You take 39 golfers, one of which is the green keeper; add some alcohol, heat in the summer sun for four or so hours, and what do you get … just desserts and the wooden spoon for your efforts, or perhaps lack thereof!

The wooden spoon break up for the year was at home, with Putaruru in pristine order.  In high spirits, the happy golfers embarked on their journey of self discovery.  The 3 putt fines for the day added another $246 to the fine pool, which on our home course, was just wrong!  The spoon winner, however, did not have a single three putt.

What does this say, that after paying for lunch for 39, there was still over a grand of 3 putt fines money left?  I wonder where that went!

The suspense is killing me, who won the spoon?  But Captain Ding digresses; Tony Edgar tamed this course of ours with 43 points, Tony FitzHerbert 42, Barry Wallace and Chris Bates 41, Russell Burman, Peter Smith, David Hoyte, Maurice Tricker, Ross Higginson and Shayne Hill all had 40.

Now to the business end, Captain Ding had 32, 7th from the bottom.  Patron Doug Worth had 30, 5th from the bottom.  Nelson Pritchard, Wayne Mudford and Ken Gallagher were tied on 28, and Ken Gallagher would have won the spoon on count back were it not for, God bless his soul, Ron Hunt on 26 points.

Everyone knows Ron is our green keeper and with all the insider knowledge this gentleman possesses, it was a sad reflection of one’s own golfing prowess, or lack thereof for the day.  I suspect a rat though, for although it was a fine day, Mrs Zeus was out gunning for Captain Ding for all his whinging about the weather, she missed and got poor Ronnie and tragically, with all the drivers in the world, did not have the straight hitter in the bag.  Pure unadulterated pear shaped custard is all that was served to our dear Ron, but still no 3 putts, that’s good isn’t it?!

Now, what goes on tour, stays on tour is the saying, so Captain Ding is precluded from mentioning donkey, Eeee-awww or the fact that a certain threesome lost a fairway and a half at the end of the field, what butchery!

So the final word on the wooden spoon is this, Ross Jellard has the groups sincere gratitude for running these days.  And so long as Captain Ding doesn’t win it, they will be great and fun days.

On the Saturday, it was the Firestone Last Chance Pork n Bacon tournament, with 18 visitors, and 55 in the field, and another splendid day was served on a platter.  Denise Donaldson won the ladies nett with 67, runner up Alison Riley 70.  The stableford winner was Maureen Shanly 40, Pam Millington 37, Kathryn Douglas and Sophie Pratt 33.

The division 1 nett winner was Douglas Millington 64, runner up Greg Worth 65.  Ron Taylor won the stableford with 43, Ross Jellard and Ken Manuel 41, Hooky Howard 40, Massey Rata and John Mulholland 39, David Pratt, Lance Hay and Butch Hamilton 37.

The division 2 nett winner was Gary Urbahn 64, runner up Don Riley 66.  Stableford winner Tony FitzHerbert 43, Brett Makene 41, Stew Kensington and Shayne Hill 40, Duncan Gallagher, Doug Worth, Brian Curd, Lance Douglas, Daly Makene and Neville Dugan 39.

Grayburn Ross Twilight!
The best ever weather for twilight was bestowed from on high on Thursday.  Jenny Clothier won the ladies on count back from Pania Paki and Jenny Smith, all 19.

Mark Lawrence won the golfers section with 23 on count back from Paul Olsen, Vance Carson and Vic O’Rourke, David Hoyte 22, Captain Ding, David O’Brien, Ron Taylor, and Ian Worth 21.

Young Daly Makene massacred the non golfers with 26, Nick Robben 25, Grant Brownhill 24, Ric Davies, Todd Dowd, Damien Jaques and Kyle Savage 23, Leon Duncan and Bill Strange 22.

Firestone Business House
Go YT won on the night with maximum points.  The Stranglers who had led all twilight were pipped at the post by a gnat’s foreskin, Go YT beating the Stranglers by 1 solitary point after the last round.  Go YT finished on 30.5 points to the Stranglers 29.5, Midland Scaffolders 24.5 and the MacDaddies 22.0.  Next year sees the start of a fresh round of team’s play, everyone starting from zero points, and the Business House Shield up for grabs … lets see whose team will have their name engraved to immortality and infamy.

Coming up …
Thursday evening is the prize giving for the Grayburn Ross Twilight and the format will be teams ambrose.  Saturday is just a scramble.  And I hear whisper that there may be a boxing day scramble!

This is the final column for 2006, so from Captain Ding and the Putaruru Golf Club, please accept our compliments of the season, and … Good luck and good golfing!

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