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Article :: 2008.02.07 - This Week Press Report

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Putaruru Golf Club Report for Insertion in “This Week”
Thursday 7 February 2008.

Men's Report
Welcome to the first of XCD’s mutterings for the new year and in fact the season, which got under way last Saturday.

Captain Ding, sorry ex Captain Ding is completely and unabashedly unrepentant for the lack of writings over the break, having enjoyed the rest and literary break.

But now, we are back into the season in earnest, and the antics of the many choppers and hackers must be reported!

We first start with Statler and Waldorf ... who you ask?  Well, the website posted the first of the new year musings with a comparison of these two loveable grumpy hecklers from the Muppet Show, you know, the two old geezer’s in the balcony with two notable characters of similar characteristics from our own golf club.

Well let me tell you, did the preverbal hit the fan, things did not Jell-hard as wires were cRossed, and the bait was taken Hook, line and Howard.  The web master, realising this flippant comparison was an enormous slur on the character of these 2 magnanimous Muppets wishes to apologise unequivocally to Statler and Waldorf for any inference that they may have played golf!

Well, what about the weather, things are a bit parched out at the golf club, other than the 19th hole.  But for all that, the course and greens are in great nick all things considered.

69 players turned out for opening day on Saturday, a great effort and indicative of the strength of the club which bodes well for the season ahead.

Now, you must realise that the ex captain has never been one to delight in the demise of others, nor is one to want to “air” any dirty laundry, or shoot off about errant “shots”.  But maybe we could start a paragraph or several, and call these Dings Delights.

Dings first titbit, is about the ignominious air shot, well 2 actually ... both perpetrated by members of the match committee, and both having a “Captains” designation.

The one that Ding witnessed saw the perpetrator well and truly Rogered by an aberrant lie under low branches.  Too his credit he kept his Clothiers on, and did not throw his toys.

And what can you say about the garnet?  This is a justly special gem, which when viewed in a certain light, has a very special air shot about it.

And you must spare a thought for the President, who on the 18th, had 2 chips, after he putted for birdie, which resulted in a spectacular double bogie.

Saturday’s competition was the Lion Trophy, which is a mixed foursome’s format, for men and ladies!  The unattached men had a secret Santa style stableford competition where drawn partners combined their stableford for potluck prizes.

And what great prizes, from Mitre 10 and Super Liquor vouchers, a couple of $50 Van Dyks vouchers to 50% drinks from the bar.  They were all in blank envelopes adding to the suspense, which was a lot of fun.

The hard luck story though, has to be young Sadz.  Playing out of his skin for 43 points, his secretly drawn partner whom we won’t name, had only 24 points, and they were only one point out of the prize pool.  Ding will give you a hint as to the other identity, he is a he, subscribes to the readings of Greg Norman, has a flash new orange trundler, and is a more than able electrician ... quite tall and works for Laser Electrical.

The winners of the Lion Trophy were John and Audrey Mathis with a nett 68.  Stew and Anne Kensington were next with 70, King and Maureen Shanly 71, Steve Thorby and Gloria Osbourne 71.5, Massey Rata and Rachel Seidel 72, Tony FitzHerbert and Marie Way 73.

The winners of the secret team’s stableford were 1st Robbie Wi and Hooky Howard 81, George Dixon and Richie Brown 79, Wayne Mudford and Mark Lawrence 79, XCD and Dieter Drescher 78, Andrew Sadler and Duncan Gallagher 75, and Peter Rennie and David Hoyte 73.

The final of Dings Delights is a TaylorMade story where the Fern-dale Strangler and accomplice Ron, started their round in the mixed foursomes solidly enough with a couple of pars and bogies, and then combusted a spectacular supernova 14 (10 over par) on the 5th hole ... so sad, never mind!

Bells Twilight
Twilight has been ticking along over January, with the first round of the Bells Business House Shield starting last Thursday, 66 players enjoying the sultry conditions.

The Business House Shield is up for grabs this time around, where the Undecided Team will have to work hard this year if they want to defend their reigning title.

The Beavers and DOA resumed their bickering over a fresh monetary wager, while the rest of the teams did their best.

The ladies winner was Lorraine Smith with 22 points, Beryl Garnett 19 and Shannon Pawhau 16.

Winning the Golfers division was Jamie Ormsby with 24, Vance Carson, Graeme Ormsby and Stan Wilson 23, Hori Dixon, Wayne Mudford and Vic O’Rourke 22, Tini Hill, Mark Lawrence and Dave O’Brien 21.

In the non golfers division, John O’Rourke had 23 points, Justin Sanson, Jason Collins and David Gill 22, Damian Jaques and Bennie Savage 21, Ben Cross, Paul Beard and Jeff Mossong 20.

Ding and Allan Sutton scored two’s for the night.

To the Teams where DOA stole, sorry, STOLE the night with maximum points 63, Undecided 62, Stranglers 62, MacDaddies 61, Ngati Putt Putt 60, BC & T and Steamers 59.

Well that's it for the first week, 9 people and DOA offended, 2 unhappy Muppets and several sponsors mentioned ... let’s give it heaps!

Coming up …
Today we have Bells Twilight, and on Saturday we have the Firestone Pork n Bacon Tournament, 3rd round of the summer cup for men and ladies, round 1 of the Radd Cup, and qualifying for the Bradshaw Cup.  Also mark the 16th (Saturday week) which is the Super Liquor Open Tournament … Good luck and good golfing!

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