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Article :: 2008.05.08 - This Week Press Report

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Putaruru Golf Club Report for Insertion in “This Week”
Thursday 08 May 2008.

Men's Report
This Week we look at the final of the TTT Trophy, where the par 4 16th hole is fast becoming the Waterloo, the iceberg, the desecration of hopes and dreams, and the equivalent of Little Big Horn.

We have the results from Saturday’s Firestone Pork n Bacon Tournament, and then Ding will make up stuff ... Well people may not believe that this “stuff” is actually factually based, but without a word of a lie, a unique perspective will have this “stuff” spun like satin.

For instance, did you know that a certain local luminary, whom use to reside on Neal Street, and had a certain taste for the Sin of Clair’s, took great delight in awarding the Edwardian Teddy Award, for not winning a single hole in their haggle while paired together?

It seemed that losing together was infinitely more palatable than having the other gloat if one had won, and the other had lost.

On a more serious note, there has been comment about when, or even if the front fairways are going to be under-sown, and spraying done for flat weed.

The way the back nine fairways have recovered from the drought is fair testament to the fact that sooner rather than later would be better.

TTT Trophy Final
The battle lines had been drawn, ACC Pete Smith, and Lance Hay were set to duke it out against Vic O’Rourke and Doug Worth.

Both teams deserved to be in the final. Although looking the characters involved, you would have to wonder!

The trip to the final for Doug Worth and Vic O’Rourke had included one to the 19th winning a tight encounter against Ross Jellard and Neville Dugan.

For ACC Pete and Lance Hay, they had the unenviable task of facing hot favourites Daley Rata-Makene and Sean Samkin, and sheer good luck to strike them on an off day for a 5/3 victory.

So to the final, where the Worth and O’Rourke pairing got the speed wobbles early on losing 3 holes on the front nine, but eventually clawing back the 9th to turn only 2 down.

Then the speed foibles were transferred to ACC Pete and Lany Hay, where after 15 holes, the match was back to all square.

There is no delicate way to say what happened next, no diplomatic euphemism that can be interposed that will gloss over the total debauchery and heinous happenings of the 16th.

So after all the hard work of getting back to all square, Doug shot a 9, Vic shot a 7, and if they’d been out duck shooting, they would have got no ducks, set their maimai on fire, and needed rescuing as the ashes floated down the Waikato.

Speaking of ducks, neither scored any stableford points on that hole either.

Contrast that with a 4 from Lance Hay, and a 5 from ACC Pete, adding together for the same total as Dougies score alone, and you get the picture that the only thing missing was gift wrapping and a ribbon.

 Then to twist the blade, Lance Hay birdies the 17th, and it was “haste la vista baby”, “go ahead punk, make my day”, “all over Rover” and “say hello to my little friend” for Doug Worth and Vic O’Rourke. 

A terminal case of trigger pulling saw a 2/1 victory for Lance Hay and ACC Pete Smith.


Firestone Tournament

The Firestone Pork n Bacon Tournament attracted 62 in the field on a sunshine filled day complete with frolicsome southerly’s for that added bite.

The Monthly Medal was played as well, and John Barr with his nett 62 (69 off the stick) won for only the second time in his golfing career the Monthly Medal.

To the Ladies results, (please note the scores showing here are all factual.)  Cheryl Jones won the nett prize with a nett 68, runner up Alison Riley with a nett 80.  Denise Hunt won the Stableford with 29 points, Fern Taylor and Maureen Shanly 24 points each.

The nett Winner of division 1 was John Barr 62, runner up Daley Rata-Makene 69.  The stableford winner was Mark Lawrence 39 points, Richard Wharehoka, King Shanly and Vic O’Rourke 38, Butch Hamilton, Maurice Tricker and Mike Hamilton 37.

The division 2 nett winner was Adam Sadler 66, runner up Stew Kensington 68.  Tony Muller won the stableford with 40 points on count back from David Motutere, Peter Smith (who?) and  Roger Clothier, Duncan Gallagher 38, Tango Drescher 37, and Brett Worth and Doug Worth 36 points each.

Two’s were scored by Daley Rata-Makene on the 10 and 13th, Peter Smith and Neil Sinclair on the 3rd, and Adam Sadler and John Barr on the 8th.

Ding’s Delights
Firstly a growl, pitch marks don’t fix themselves, and if you can’t find your own pitch mark on the green, then fix someone else’s.

Ding and Fuzz playing on Thursday after the Vets, and again on Saturday found more unrepaired pitch marks than they should have, and with the greens softening up, there will be more marks, so please do your bit to help keep our greens up to speed.

John Barr had a good round on Saturday.  But it was the playing partners that made for a top day of camaraderie.  You see, it was the toss of the balls to determine playing partners that saw Mother God, whose benign nature determined that the mighty Fuzz was paired with the introverted and mild mannered Ding, playing against his Worshipfulness, the Mayor, and a struggling retired Vet who won no aWards on Saturday.

Reminiscent of the Muppet duo of Statler and Waldorf, his Worshipfulness played out his skin while carrying the modest weight of his playing partner ALL day.  Their hopes of scooping the modest cash pool were dashed by a 3 birdie blitz from the 12th to the 15th holes by the mighty Fuzz, while Ding chimed in on the 13th hole for a win.

Speaking of the 13th hole, our group was held up by Eyebrow Hamilton, whose drive off the 14th was not flash.  When it became apparent that Fuzz and Ding were observing, the recovery shot careened off the trees and was heading out of bounds, but hit the bottom wire of the out of bounds fence on the 13th to stop just inside the fence.  This set up a reasonably impressive recovery shot, but the final outcome was still a double bogey 7.

This had Ding thanking the almighty for the small bounties he bestows from on high.

This then led to a phenomenal tee shot from his worshipfulness teeing off the 13th, which was not hit that flash it is fair to say, but then hit the gate across the neighbour’s race which was out of bounds, and careened back in bounds clearly a metre in front of the ladies tee, and another fairway in regulation for the Mayor.

A new nickname was berthed (sic) on Saturday for King Kong Shanly. Why King Kong you ask, because this person may have a proclivity to go ape about anything?!

Finally, did one hear correctly that a PK did a Stew for the first time in 30 years, or that Mingi turned up late on Saturday?

Coming up …
Today we have Vets, and on the weekend we have the first round of the Stratson Cup which is a Bogey competition ... Good luck and good golfing!

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